Book of the Month - April 2024
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It
Chris Voss and Tahl Raz - ISBN: 9781847941497 - 2016
Author:
Chris Voss
A 24 year veteran of the FBI, Chris Voss is one of the preeminent practitioners and professors of negotiating skills in the world. He is the founder and principal of The Black Swan Group, a consulting firm that provides training and advises Fortune 500 companies through complex negotiations. Voss has taught for many business schools, including the University of Southern California’s Marshall School of Business, Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, Harvard University, MIT’s Sloan School of Management, and Northwestern University’s Kellogg School of Management, among others.
Tahl Raz
Tahl Raz is a storyteller of big ideas in business, technology and the social sciences that are transforming the way we work and live. An award-winning journalist and best-selling author, he has edited and published in everything from Inc. Magazine and GQ to Harvard Business Review and the Jerusalem Post. Management guru Tom Peters called his first co-authored book, “Never Eat Alone,” one of “the most extraordinary and valuable business books” of recent history. The book is still in hardcover over a decade later and is now used as a textbook in MBA programs around the world. He has held roles as a Chief Content Officer, CEO of an online education company called MyGreenLight, and founder and editor-in-chief of Jewcy Media. He lives in New York City with his wife, daughter, and a very fat Pug named Bibi.
Brief Synopsis:
A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.
After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.
Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
Insights:
“If you approach a negotiation thinking the other guy thinks like you, you are wrong. That's not empathy, that's a projection.”
“Hope is not a strategy”
“Negotiation is not an act of battle; it’s a process of discovery. The goal is to uncover as much information as possible.”
“Mirrors work magic. Repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said. We fear what’s different and are drawn to what’s similar. Mirroring is the art of insinuating similarity, which facilitates bonding. Use mirrors to encourage the other side to empathize and bond with you, keep people talking, buy your side time to regroup, and encourage your counterparts to reveal their strategy.”
“This is listening as a martial art, balancing the subtle behaviors of emotional intelligence and the assertive skills of influence, to gain access to the mind of another person. Contrary to popular opinion, listening is not a passive activity. It is the most active thing you can do.”
Should I read it or skip it?
I really enjoyed this book. I worked for the US Border Patrol and have known a few federal agents. Voss’ stories reminded me of sitting in the conference room listening to these men who were heroes telling their stories. For that reason alone, this book is worth the listen.
Second, negotiation and sales have not been one of my strengths. I connected with the idea, “Negotiation is a process of discovery,” and the second idea, “Every negotiation begins when we hear the word, ‘No.’” In the past, I have regarded a “no” as a closed door. Voss explains we should expect to hear it. Every piece of information sets boundaries and gets us closer to the answer of what the other person wants.
In the end, this book can help anyone access the skills necessary to be a better negotiator and never split the difference.
